It's Pronounced "Tims"

But it's spelled Thames. And his first name is Marcus. And he's your new righty-hitting left-fielder to platoon with Jay Gibbons. Unless Tony Gwynn, Jr. hits in Spring Training. Then Gwynn is your center-fielder. And Matt Kemp is your right-fielder. And Andre Ethier is your left-fielder.

Still with me? Good, because neither am I.

Thames will get a one-year deal. And so will Gabe Kapler, of the minor league variety, with an invitation to Spring Training.